BLOG: Brisbane Boat Show: the equivalent of a faded movie idol!

There are those among you who are no doubt familiar, not only with the glorious, glitzy heyday of Hollywood, but also the ranks of reliable, bankable performers who could always be depended on to lend credibility or respectability to even the most mediocre production. We’re not talking about superstars like Gary Cooper, Gregory Peck, Elizabeth Taylor or Ingrid Bergman, you understand; more the 2^nd tier fallbacks – worthy, reliable stalwarts like, say, Walter Pidgeon, Ray Milland or Anne Baxter. When the halcyon days and klieg lights faded for these ersatz icons, they were always assured of steady employment on telemovies or serials such as The Man From Uncle, Columbo or Dynasty. Their appearance gave much needed gravitas and kudos to otherwise prosaic fare and nearly always ensured a spot on the podium come Emmy time.

Strange opening to an article in a marine industry publication, wouldn’t you say? Certainly, but it is, in the opinion of yours truly, a reasonable analogy of the status of Brisbane Boat Show. Its glamour days – if indeed it ever had any (and if it did, they must have been eons ago) – long behind it, it still tries its best to dazzle, beguile, seduce and entertain. Like a golden-age heroine shot full of collagen and Botox, she is still plying her trade and hoping to inveigle the punters to take a peek. Now don’t take this the wrong way. The Skipper spent several carefree hours ambling happily through the Brissie show, marvelling at its quaint, folksy charm. As it was also the 50^th anniversary of the show, the historic displays – particularly the wooden boats and the line-up of old outboards – were refreshing and showed us a virtual chronology of how far both the products and buyers have evolved.

But here’s a stark thought. The old OBM line-up and the examples of the Whittley and Cruise Craft from decades past were inside the exhibition hall itself, taking up the space of at least two to three stands. Surely this was prime (paying) exhibitor space, which could have made revenue for whatever companies occupied it? Or is it a case of there being no takers? The Skipper’s money’s on the latter. Likewise, when there is a plethora of esky retailers, fishing tackle sellers banging on through a distorted, rasping PA system that sounds like it is simultaneously being used by The Who, AC/DC and The Clash, or people displaying miracle products that turn rusty nails into gleaming marlin spikes, you know instinctively that core, targeted exhibitors either bailed or didn’t sign up. And there was also the virtual absence of both sailboats and larger, shaft-drive motor cruisers. This was akin to having a motor show with no 4WDs and executive cars.

There is also the practice – most prevalent at Brisbane but also a factor at other national shows – of having dealers for the same brand of outboard gathered around the manufacturer’s corporate stand or clustered in a group in one area of the hall. This, frankly speaking, is ludicrous. Can anybody think of a scenario more likely to provoke a “Dutch auction” than this? Where all a customer has to do is walk ten metres and say, “He quoted this price, now what’s the best you can do?” It’s no wonder dealers pack stands with product – margin is so risibly minimal that they need to focus maniacally on volume to make exhibiting worthwhile. In The Skipper’s opinion, anybody whose speciality is cash-and-carry 2-stroke outboards should stay at home to a) save money and b) let those who want to make money actually do so. Unfortunately, the “You’d better-buy-it-now-because-it-won’t-last, bargain-bazaar” premise of shows such as Brisbane may be slowly, inexorably choking our industry to death and is probably conditioning customers to buy at exhibitions only and give dealerships a wide berth.

Don’t misinterpret this as a dismissive, contemptuous, negative rant. The Skipper wants everybody to survive, make a quid, achieve or surpass their targets, go from strength to strength, hire new staff and make enough to coast through a long, healthy retirement, but there needs to be a long look taken at the point and efficacy of regional, retail-oriented boat shows. You will regularly see yours truly fall back on comparison with the automotive industry. Why? Because it’s logical, and if anybody knows about selling glitz, glamour and gloss, it’s the car industry. When has anybody ever been to a retail-oriented car show, with dealers displaying exactly the same models within spitting distance of each other? Also, there is virtually a frantic paranoia and a morbid fear of not closing deals at a boat show – not actually taking any money there and then, thereby seemingly rendering your participation useless. Why is this so? As long as the staff have diligently and thoroughly taken a note of all definite prospects, they can methodically work through the list at their leisure and maybe – no, almost certainly – extract more money than may be possible during the frazzled, frenzied atmosphere of a show, where the customer is being assailed from all over by other dealers eager to pimp their wares over yours. We’re in a leisure industry, and whilst we certainly need to be serious and professional, we can be leisurely about it.

To ensure the excitement, vitality and innovation expected of the marine industry by potential buyers, The Skipper - opinionated, arrogant, overweening old buffoon that he is – suggests that Brisbane show should go to biannual status forthwith with a manufacturer/importer’s slant, and then an on-water, retail-oriented show (similar to the Melbourne summer show) every alternate year at somewhere like Rivergate Marina. By trying something new and epoch-making like this, at least we can show the public that we are not staid, unimaginative and stuck in a time warp.